quote In Flight Ent.

It’s 6:49am. That’s coo. I’m on an airplane to Chicago and the sun is just behind the horizon. It’s starting to light it up with red and orange and the sky is good ole blue. The blue gets darker and darker as you look up from the horizon and in between the dark blue, medium blue, light blue skies and the red/orange/yellow horizon is, Naturally, some green. And it makes me think of how this big fucking massive huge ball of fire is somewhere south of me, on the other side of the horizon, billions of miles away. Billions might be the wrong quantifier. Let’s just say “shit ton”. I’d rather sound ridiculous than lie. So anyways. So there’s this Sun somewhere south of me and part of its massiveness is shining at what appears to be upward towards the plane, but especially the earth. And it’s casting a rainbow of color from the horizon to the sky. It’s got me thinking that the sky isn’t really a thing. It’s just a fraction of the spectrum of light cast by the sun. THE sky. Suuuure, English language. Sure. More like “sky”. Oh the truths that get lost in translation. Whoa. More on that another day. So now I’m flying in this plane suspended in air, the air that’s associated with this planet that is also suspended. Or is it kept put? Wait, so the sky is nothing but light? How fucking nuts. To be suspended in so much nothingness. 
Meanwhile, I’m on my way to a porn convention where people know my name and expect my presence. And I’m delighted to offer them these things. I get to make money to buy some lovely stuffs. And I get to dress up and get dolled up, flirt a little and have dinners with the people that I have so far deemed desirable. They’re of the goofy variety, and of the literary variety too. And I get to go to dinner with them and head over the bridge to experience New York for an evening. And that’s a lot of something right? That’s responsibility, that’s human connection, that’s experience, that’s personal desire the whole way thru. Which is what I guess gives it meaning right? I can’t interact with the sky or the horizon, even though I’m on someone else’s horizon right now and so are you and so are they. And I suppose I can gain some strength from the sky. Like whooooa so big my problems are so small wooooow liiiiiiife. But it’s neither here nor there and it’s certainly not now. It’s just… sky. Not to be confused with “The” sky which is the thing you draw in pictures when you’re little and put the sun in the corner of the page. Ignorance is NOT bliss little one. Just wait and see.
 Alas I cannot interact with the vast cosmos but I can interact with all the tiny details in front of my face. This face that sits on these facial muscles that are stuck to this skull. This skull that protects this brain, the stage for the whole damn thing. It’s where my identity lies and it’s where all the feels happen. Not in my heart. I feel from my brain. And this raises my pulse and gets my blood pumping. So the heart puts up with all the shit the mind goes thru. Well lucky for it we can be rather lovely. Unfortunately for it we can be rather shitty. Either way the heart and the brain are working together from within the skeletal spaceship to navigate all the earthly details in order to fuel the life with something that I can’t define. Wow. Where was I? Let’s see… i took a left there and a right here and then I made a u turn and saw that lamppost and that should put me right here. Ah yes the point! The point is that a lot of things matter in life. No pun intended. Matter. (“You have weight and you take up space, you matter”) Anyways. A lot of things matter in life but do they really matter that much? In the grand scheme of things…
Natasha Nice



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