Exxxotica! Columbus, Ohio! 2016! 

What can I say about Exxxotica? Ask any one of my fans and they will tell you: Natasha LOVES conventions. The sexy, stringy outfits. The autographing of merchandise. The endless flirting with boys and telling them to stay behind the carpeted line… It’s a tease’s wildest dream. Don’t get me wrong, you know I love to fuck. But there’s a quietly growing dominatrix somewhere inside this soul of mine and she salivates at the thought of making men antsy then telling them “See you later”. Anyways, Exxxotica… Right. This Exxxotica was a little different. Being the first attempt in Columbus, Ohio, the show was a tad bit slow. I don’t know all of the reasons for this. Apparently, there hadn’t been much promotion for the show around town. I blame Ohio. Exxxotica is perfect. I’m sure a billboard on the highway with Briana Banks’ photo on it would have drawn more of a crowd. Or maybe a picket riot. Who knows. Alas, even though the turn out was low, it was worth going just to know what the turn out would be. Had I not gone and had someone told me “Natasha, don’t go to Columbus, it’s suuuper slow”, I would have gone anyways to see for myself. I’m kinda hard headed like that. Meanwhile, thanks to everyone who bought my DVDs and 8x10s. And thanks to LA Direct Models for having me. The third day of the show, I stayed in. I watched The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, I ordered the Cobb Salad and I rubbed one out at least five times. When another girl came back to the room and told me how she made $100 in 6 hours, I felt kinda sorry for her. Then she told me how much lingerie she bought for 50% off and I thought “Dammit, I DID miss out”. Luckily I bought some bejeweled gold pasties for my nipples the day before (add me to your favorites at http://www.streamate.com/cam/NatashaNice to watch me try them on… hopefully they stick).

The first night of the show, everyone at the LA Direct Models booth went out for Mexican food. We went to a place called Bakersfield in downtown Columbus in the Gaslamp district. The Gaslamp district. It doesn’t get much more stylish than that, in my book. Edison bulbs hanging from metal wires, rugged brick buildings and tired working men wearing suspenders. But more on that later. Apparently it’s a pretty popular place with the University students. Ohio State. I gotta say, when we walked in, I spotted like 6 ppl I would want to sleep with, 5 of them male. But it was more of a nice-dinner-and-drinks-with-the-fellow-workers kind of thing. Besides, do drunk college students get tested? Who knows… This one does. But anyways, I had a Pollo Rojo taco. And The Bakersfield Margarita. When in Rome, right? We took a group photo at the entrance. It was me, Pepper, Dani Jensen, Zoey Parker, Natalia Starr, Heather Vahn, and newbie, Bella Rose. Natalia stuck out from the photo like, well, a star. But it’s hard to be a jealous of a pair of breasts that you simultaneously want to rub your face in. Besides Natalia, Dani tickled my fancy a lot. Her sweet demeanor and professional attitude, coupled with eyes and a smile that light up the space, were heart and clit warming. I chatted briefly with Heather Vahn about stock options and solar panel technology after I noticed her crunching numbers on her iPhone. My kinda girl. Then there’s Zoey Parker with whom I shared a cigarette after dinner while looking for a boy I had spotted earlier. We talked loudly about boys, agents and porn and a few people stood up and walked away. Sometimes I wonder if this is less of a rejection and more of a “I’m interested but I have no idea how to approach you” type of response, in hopes that it will get a response. Ok I think too much. Keep it simple. It wasn’t personal. Zoey and I finished our cigarettes and headed back inside. I must admit, I felt a little sad because the main reason I went outside to smoke was to talk to a boy I spotted through the window while I was eating my taco. The group chatter fell into the background as soon as I saw him. He was sitting in the corner of the patio wearing a white button down shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as if to present me with his tattoos. A sort of cleavage, if you will, lol. He was wearing suspenders and looked as if he might have spent all day working hard and sweating in the warehouse – I don’t know which one, General Motors maybe – and needed a cool brew to wear off the day. And he was wearing glasses.

I don’t know what it is about men with glasses. It’s kind of humble looking. But I also imagine you in a library, quietly reading your book of choice until I come bend over next to you with a low cut top or high trimmed skirt, or both, and ask you if you can help me find Moby Dick because I have a bone to pick with my boyfriend for not showing me and my body enough love even though I always say yes. Anyways, I looked around the table. A couple girls were in the bathroom, a couple were on their phones and we were all finished eating. I scanned the lovely bodies around me and stopped at Zoey – would she want to go outside with me? I know smokers like a cigarette after they eat and I always love to smoke when I’m tipsy, perhaps we could venture outdoors, past this stupid window keeping me from my next quivering orgasm. Alas, in the midst of all the silly strategizing, he disappeared from view and was nowhere to be found on that tiny, industrial, patio. Next time, I’m going to be rude… and blame it on the alcohol.

Mmm…. That’s all folks.


-Natasha Nice



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